Wedding tinz ;-)

Good morning people!!!

Where do I begin??? The past two weeks have been AMAZING!!! I don’t have words to describe what it’s been like…

I thought of telling you about every single event or occurrence, but that would make a freakishly LOOOONG-ass blog post. So, I’ll briefly describe the last two weeks of my life… 😀

The last time we spoke, I was in Nkiru’s house for wedding No. 1. That was the one I was a bridesmaid for. You can’t imagine my shock when I discovered that I was the only unmarried woman on her bridal train! All my flirting skills- my sexy eyelash batting, my come-hither-and-toast-me smile, my waist twisting- it was all in vain! All the groomsmen and bridesmaids were married, except me :-(. The only other unmarried groomsman was cute but he looked like he spends a minimum of 4 hours in front of the mirror every day…

My friend, Nkiru, started to feel the pressure a couple of days before the wedding so she let out her inner-bridezilla. We fought a few times and we were both tired, but that week brought me closer to her more than ever. No matter how bad things got, we were always able to see a funny side to it. I will forever cherish those days of running like mad women around Lagos, going to the market, going to see vendors, planning hair and make-up and laughing… always laughing!

After that, my landlord surprised us (me and my brother) by showing up in town unannounced. You might wonder why that is a big deal right? Well, I never told you that the guy I refer to as “Landlord” is actually my daddy ( ._.)

It’s his house I live in; he just doesn’t live in it with me. He came into town for a conference or something like that. One blog post will not be enough to describe what it’s like between me and my dad. Dr Phil himself can’t cure my “daddy issues”… but strange enough, it was a successful visit. He got on my case because of my hair, and complained about a few things in the house, but apart from that, we didn’t fight and I wasn’t reminded of all the bad things I did as far back as Primary 6.

Then, I spent one miserable day cramped up in a bus for almost 9 hours, travelling from Lagos to PH for wedding No. 2. I couldn’t afford a return ticket so I went by road… it was HORRIBLE!! Ordinarily, I love road trips, especially when I’ve got a good book with me. I can read for hours, sleep, listen to music with my earphones and, sometimes, if there’s nice company, I can have good conversations. On this trip though, all I had was music and nothing else. Couldn’t sleep, or read and the company was horrible…

I got to the bus park a bit late so I got a seat between two we-know-they-are-f@*king-fat-but-let’s-call-them-curvy women who crushed my ribcage and flattened my tits with their upper arms. They kept yelling and arguing with the driver… he was either going too fast for them or too slow. The only advantage of being between them was that, since the driver set the air-conditioning to sub-zero temperatures, their body fat provided some warmth 😀

I got to PH safely though (thank God)… I made it just in time for my friend’s surprise bridal shower. I had never attended one before so that was my very first bridal shower. Initially, I wasn’t too comfy in a room full of screaming girls 🙁 but by the time we started playing games and asking naughty questions, I was in my element 😉 We hit the clubs afterwards and didn’t get back till early hours of the morning. I had a bit to drink, but not so much that I was dancing on table-tops or swinging from metal poles. It’s been so much fun ever since… Efe’s wedding is officially the BEST wedding I’ve attended in my life!!!! I’m still recovering from the weekend…

The whole experience made me realize just how drab and disgusting my life in Lagos is. And I don’t want to go back to Lagos… I really don’t :’(

I have to go now. Just wanted to wish you guys a happy new month and tell you how great the Month of May was!! I’ll be back as soon as I can… I’ve still got so much I wanna tell you.

I’m uploading some pictures of myself… I love my look for Efe’s wedding so I’m gonna show you guys what I looked like. This is the closest I’ve come to looking like a human being in a long time 😀

Ciao!