Month: February 2013

Mornin’ people… I mentioned that I attended an old friend’s wedding sometime in January right?…  I am really not big on weddings. It was all the way in Lagos and if I wasn’t able to make it, he would’ve understood (I think). I wasn’t the best man or the ring bearer. In fact, I played no significant role before, during and after the wedding. All I did was stare at some delicious eye-candy in his committee of friends, catch up with old friends, eat like a pig and party like a rock starr!! So, if I’m not so big on…

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Ok, so this is part two of my weekend story… 🙂 While Chucks was talking, I imagined myself at a dinner party with my carpenter and his girlfriend, and some of their other friends and I almost threw up in my mouth. What the hell were we gonna talk about? As insulted as I was, I didn’t have the heart to ask him if he’s been swallowing some engine oil. I should have said a firm No!, but I couldn’t. Instead, I promised I would call the next day to let him know if I would be able to make…

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Good morning people… I started this post on Friday evening, thinking I was gonna finish it and post it Saturday. Then I spoke to a friend of mine and something came up so I decided to put the post on hold till Sunday evening when I would have the complete story of how my weekend went. It’s a ridiculously long post so, like a Nollywood movie, I decided to break it into two parts; Part I and II… On Friday morning, my pet pig said to me; “WTF? Oink oink oink oink oink! Oink oink… Oink oink oink, you filthy…

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Meanwhile, in lighter news, I’m happy cos it’s my big sister’s birthday!!! As far as I’m concerned, she practically raised us (me and my brothers)… even though growing up with her wasn’t always easy because my parents used to act like the sun shone out of her ass. She was their first child and she could do no wrong in their eyes. She was polite, intelligent, obedient and very neat. In fact, if my dad was a carpenter and my mum a virgin, people woulda started to suspect that she was the black baby Jesus. It was so bad that…

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Good morning peoples!! Don’t know about you guys but I feel insulted. In fact, I feel highly insulted. Oscar Pistol-rius had a week (ONE WHOLE WEEK!!!) to come up with a story or explanation and between himself, his lawyer and his family and friends, this is the best they could come up with??!! It’s like the husband whose wife catches him in bed with his secretary. Wifey is devastated, she storms out of the house and goes to stay with her mother. After a week, she finally comes home and demands an explanation and despite having one week to come…

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