Year: 2013

Dear You, I remember on the second day… you told me, or should I say you warned me not to fall for you. When you said it, it took all my will power to not laugh in your face. In my mind, I was wondering, “Who the hell does this nicca think he is? Denzel?” You see, I’ve heard guys say that to me a gazillion times before and in my opinion, if you’re not Hugh Hefner or a shirtless Tatum Channing, then you really don’t have the charm to pull off that kind of confidence. In fact, coming from…

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Everybody knows a prophet. I don’t mean prophet in the “divine” sense of the word. I’m talking about maybe a pastor, or a church usher, chorister, church cleaner, pastor’s-ass-kisser, sound technician etc. Basically, anyone who does work for the church. Today’s focus is not your average, everyday church worker though. Today, we’re dealing with the ones who sweep the church floors as if their ancestor was the Mayor of Sodom and Gomorrah. They use their work in church to apologize to Jesus on behalf of their great-great-great-great-grandfather on their father’s side, the man who bought the hammer and nailed Him…

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Recently, for the one billionth time in my life, I was sorta dumped came to the end of yet another relationship. Don’t ask… it’s a long story. Anyway, the sorta-dumping happened at the worst possible time because I had to make a lot of public appearances in the days after; I had two job interviews, I had errands to run, I had a social event to attend, I had a sick friend I had to visit and other minor things that took me out of the house. So basically, the sort-of-dumping happened in the middle of life. I didn’t have…

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You know how we have the laws of The Ten Commandments; thou shall not kill, thou shall not steal, look not upon thine neighbour’s wife’s backside, etc… We also have the laws of The Common Law system that we practise in Nigeria; thou shall not kill unless ye have a convoy, thou shall not steal except ye hold a public office, etc… But then, who made all the other laws that we live by? Who decided what is acceptable or unacceptable in our various societies? Even after many years, I’m still asking; who invented school and made me go??? We…

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I first heard about the Dana Air crash on Facebook, several hours after it happened. As usual, people were eager to be the first to break the news and the number of updates made it difficult to hope and pray that it was a false rumour. Our local news channels were not covering the story so, with deep shame, I checked the Yahoo website and that was where I first saw pictures and at least got some sort of story, albeit a sketchy one. It’s hard to believe now that that was just seven months ago. It feels much longer…

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