And the Oscar for best actress goes to… Pimply Face!!!

Good morning people…

I guess I can’t complain because February didn’t blow as hard as January. And I almost got hit by a car this morning while I was jogging!! It was like a dream. My life (all 21 years of it) flashed before my eyes and I thought I was going to meet my maker…

The driver (notice I didn’t call him ‘wanker’) was on his phone when he almost hit me. I forgave him though cos he actually pulled over to apologize. And he smelled really REALLY nice :-). Anyway, I think it was probably God giving me a warning; My child, verily verily I say unto you, if you bitch unnecessarily on your blog today about how bad February was, and if you don’t wish people a happy new month, I’ll split your skull with the rusty bumper of a pure-water truck…

So, HAPPY NEW MONTH PEOPLE!!! It feels good to be alive doesn’t it? 😀

Again, my biggest highlight in February was this blog. There was also a time that I ran into a girl my ex once cheated on me with. I decided to not write about it in case she one day stumbles upon this site and reads what I wrote about her. I no longer give a flying f*&k if she sees this.

When I saw her, I hardly recognized her. She looked like she badly needed a Clearasil fix with all the mountains mole-hills pimples on her face. Yeah, she still had them nice titties but she had put on so much weight and her stomach(s) was all over the place. Plus it was obvious that her little 5 year old niece did her make up with one of those Poster Colour sets we used for Art in Secondary School.

Bottom line; I was looking good despite my protruding ogor and she looked like dog-poop that had been run-over 23 times. She even asked if I was doing anything to keep the weight off and because I didn’t want to stretch the conversation for too long, I told her I don’t really do anything. In reality, what I wanted to answer was, “Oh, I do about 40-minutes of cardio and 24-hours of NOT BANGING OTHER PEOPLE’S BOYFRIENDS!!! It does wonders for my abs and my glutes… you should try it.” 😀

Please feel free to judge me and call me petty… I don’t care. It was a highlight for me. The only bad part of the story, and probably the real reason why I didn’t tell it to you guys in the first place, is that after our meeting, she drove off in a nice shiny air-conditioned car and I squeezed into the back of a Keke Napep that would drop me off at the junction. Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humour? Funny thing is, unless she’s an Oscar-worthy actress, she actually seemed genuinely pleased to see me. She even took my number…

In Feb, I also made up my mind to put down my pride and ask more people for help in finding a job. So far, I’ve had numerous promises and so many ‘Why-didn’t-you-tell-me-sinces?’ and yet I’m still the Un-employee of the month… I’m keeping my fingers crossed though. Something must come up.

Oh yeah… also in February, I finally got closure!! Don’t ask me what that means… just be happy for me cos I’m happy 😉

I think March is going to be much better. I’m almost excited because I’ve got a number of things I’m really looking forward to… Of course I’ll tell you guys as events unfold.

So what’s your plan for March?