Author: Ngozi

The first month of the year is over and I cannot emphasize how much it sucked. The only highlights were this blog and the time I attended an old friend’s wedding. Apart from that, I didn’t get to cross out a single thing from my January to-do list!! It was the same way in 2012- the months practically flew by and before I knew it, there were Christmas decorations all over the place and the year was over! The idiot who said that Life is short knew exactly what he was talking about. One minute you’re on the playground in nursery school, showing…

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Every morning, by 6:15am I go jogging for about forty minutes. It’s practically a ritual… Years ago, it started off as an excuse to spy on my ex-boyfriend. Jogging past his house in the mornings, I was able to see what new ho’ he had spent the night with. Before you judge me, you have to bear in mind that this was in the age prior to Facebook and Twitter. We didn’t have it as good as the girls of nowadays. In today’s world, when your boyfriend tells you “Baby, I’ll call you back later. I’m in a crucial meeting…

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Hey people!!! It’s been a while… five days to be precise. And a lot has happened in that time. I had planned on coming here to lie about how busy I’ve been this past week but there’s no point. The truth is that I tried to effect some necessary changes on my website and managed to make a complete mess of everything. I activated some things and deactivated some others and ended up with a Christian Gardening porn site. Finally, I let down my pride, called for help and got everything sorted out. However, for now, please ignore any pop-up…

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Dear You, I remember on the second day… you told me, or should I say you warned me not to fall for you. When you said it, it took all my will power to not laugh in your face. In my mind, I was wondering, “Who the hell does this nicca think he is? Denzel?” You see, I’ve heard guys say that to me a gazillion times before and in my opinion, if you’re not Hugh Hefner or a shirtless Tatum Channing, then you really don’t have the charm to pull off that kind of confidence. In fact, coming from…

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Everybody knows a prophet. I don’t mean prophet in the “divine” sense of the word. I’m talking about maybe a pastor, or a church usher, chorister, church cleaner, pastor’s-ass-kisser, sound technician etc. Basically, anyone who does work for the church. Today’s focus is not your average, everyday church worker though. Today, we’re dealing with the ones who sweep the church floors as if their ancestor was the Mayor of Sodom and Gomorrah. They use their work in church to apologize to Jesus on behalf of their great-great-great-great-grandfather on their father’s side, the man who bought the hammer and nailed Him…

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