Category: Random

Random…

Perceptions…

6

A few weeks ago, I went to the salon with a friend of mine. While we were there, a member of my church walked in to get her hair done. I’ve worked closely with her before on a church project. I was genuinely happy to see her so I said hi, gave her a big hug and introduced her to my friend. Then, she turned to my friend and asked, “So, is Ngozi always this quiet?” My friend choked on her bottle of water. “Quiet ke?? KWAYET?? This same Ngozi that I know? We can’t get her to shut up!”…

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My Royal Wedding experience…

19

A few years ago, an old friend called me up. He’s best friends with a guy I once dated. He wanted to know if I was seeing anyone because he had a friend who was having a hard time finding the right kinda girl. No deformity, no weird fetishes, his friend was just a really nice guy with bad luck, so he thought of me. Of course, I was very flattered. I asked, “Is he serious? Abeg I don’t have power for games.” “Yes, he’s dead serious. He doesn’t want games either.” So he sent the guy my number, and BOOM!…

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Orange flavoured vodka…

, 5

The last time I was this tipsy was at my sister’s wedding… about this same time last year. I was the chief bridesmaid and I didn’t have a major function, but I had lots of small small functions like carrying the heavy tail of the wedding gown, and fanning my sister with one of those fancy folding fans. I remember dancing into the hall with the bridal party and later crying during the couple’s first dance. Other than that, I didn’t get to actually sit and participate in much else until the wedding reception was almost over. As the reception…

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Taxify’s marriage certificate…

, 4

Early one morning, a long time ago in my former office, two senior female colleagues stood by the entrance of the main building. They were huddled together, and they spoke in hushed tones. I saw them but I thought nothing of it because experience had taught me that they could either be deciding the future of someone’s entire career, or they could be expressing grave concerns over what Antonio did to Miguel in last night’s Telemundo episode. The MD arrived while they were still outside. He was such a hard ass. He didn’t like to see people breathe because breathing…

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Pounded yam poem

0

It’s me again. I wrote this months ago. I shared it on Twitter and just decided to share it here. It’s not a serious poem… ____________________________________________________________________________ You ever do the stupid love? The kind where you’re trying to out-love the other person? There are no limits to what you can do…  You read those pounding yam tweets and lol in your mind.  Ordinary pounding? Ees nuffin’. Your belly is filled with the knowing that you put that smile on his face. What is ordinary pounding? He said, “I wish I had XYZ”. The timing is perfect because you just got…

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