We need to talk…

Are you a young girl or woman looking for a way out of your relationship? Are you fed up with your boyfriend/lover/husband and you don’t love him like you used to? Is your inner hoe begging to be set free… free to hoe about? Or maybe you just miss being single? Well, you’ve come to the right place… At Ngor’s Solutionz, we take all the stress away by giving you unhealthy but effective relationship advice. Our methods may seem questionable, but we guarantee you fast results. Most of our surviving clients worldwide are currently enjoying their single status or better…

Continue reading

One – Nil…

And that’s how we won the Nations Cup… I couldn’t stop screaming when the whistle blew. Lord knows I wouldn’t have survived another traumatic penalty shoot-out. Still, I enjoyed the game. Maybe we could’ve played a lot better and not missed so many opportunities, but it doesn’t matter now, does it? We have the cup!!! Anyway, here are my highlights from the game: Early in the game, I felt chills run down my spine when the ball somehow got to our half of the field. The tall guy with peacock hair, who I later found out is called Bance, didn’t…

Continue reading

Play Ball!!!

I’m not playing today and I’m not the coach. I’m not even related to the assistant coach, yet I’m nervous as hell. And if I’m feeling this way, I wonder how our boys are feeling… I’ve been praying and making all sorts of promises to God, if only He would just let us win. I promise to keep my room tidy… I promise to stop hiding the remote control from my mother… I promise not to sin again till tomorrow… I promise not to make fun of our first Lady again… I promise to stick to only missionary position… Honestly,…

Continue reading

E.T. phone home?

Hello people… My weekend isn’t going as planned. After a long, somewhat depressing week, I had planned to go buck wild this weekend. I was going to call up my slutty friend so that we would get up to no good and paint the town red, maybe even wake up in the police station Monday morning. It’s not happening. And so far, it has been one very slow weekend. I did something drastic today… I cut my hair. Some of you who know me well enough know that I didn’t have much hair to begin with. Still, I went ahead…

Continue reading

STARCOMMS… Off with their head!!!

I have always had a lot of faith in computers and machines in general. For some reason, I believe in them more than I believe in humans. I’ve never been a victim of anything run by computers. I’m not the type to question electricity bills, ATM receipts, account balance statements and such… if the computer says it is so, then it must be so. Even if there is an error somewhere, I am confident it will be reversed or corrected. Now, STARCOMMS has taught me that even if computers can’t go wrong, the idiots who operate them can go terribly…

Continue reading