Dance Etiquette…

Good morning beautiful people!!!

I’m at work and I miss home. I had such a wonderful weekend… I didn’t want it to end. I stayed home from Friday evening when I got back from work, till Monday morning. I didn’t even go to church yesterday. The only time I left the house was Saturday evening and that was to buy a truck load of paw-paw and oranges just down my street.

No trips to the market, no cooking, no church work… just some laundry, a bit of housework and lots of sleeping and Tv watching. It was some much needed me-time. Now I’m looking forward to the long weekend coming up 😀

We’re having our office end of year/Christmas party tomorrow and I’m a bit worried. Everyone else is excited but I’m not… First of all, it’s an ‘all-white’ party. We’re supposed to be dressed in white and I don’t have anything to wear. Not one single white outfit is in my wardrobe. I have black and white, red and white, yellow and white, but nothing that’s all white. And Lord knows that I can’t afford to get a new outfit… not right now.

The second issue is, I don’t really wanna party. I’ve been avoiding parties for a while now and I’ll tell you why. Earlier in the year, I read Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man”. In one of the chapters, he wrote about the kind of woman that men want and it completely changed my life. He was talking about the difference between a “Throwback” and a “Keeper” and he said;

“…a woman who drops it like it’s hot and puts on a dance floor performance that would make video vixen Karrine Steffans blush is a throwback.”

I’m not a bad girl. I talk rough and crack the most obscene jokes, but I am really not a bad person. I (used to love) going to parties, letting loose and allowing myself have a good time. I will usually take as many bottles of Smirnoff or Snapp or whatever mild poison is available that I need to let myself go. I’ve never gotten drunk… tipsy, yes, but never to the point where I can’t walk a straight line.

And one thing a lot of people don’t know about me is I love to dance. Not only that I love to dance, I’m a pretty good dancer (even if I do say so myself). Initially, when the party is just getting started, I stay safe doing the running man and the electric slide. Then the alcohol starts to kick in and Jason Derulo comes on and asks me if I know what to do with my big fat butt? You’re damn right I’m gonna wiggle wiggle wiggle…

The pimp walks into the crib and you expect me to drop it gently like it’s luke-warm? Hell nah! I will drop it like it’s on fire baby… that’s the only way to drop it. ‘Twas it not for the sole purpose of twerking that God blessed me with those special lower back twerking muscles?? I realize that not every girl has ‘em. ‘Tis a blessing.

So can you see my problem? According to the book, I’m not the kind of girl you take home to mama. But in reality, I’m just a fun-loving girl who wants to party without being judged. I want to twerk without coming into work the next day and having guys give me suggestive looks. I want to dutty wine and side-split without girls calling me a slut behind my back. Otherwise, what’s the point of going to a party and sitting quietly a few tables from my MD and sipping on Ribena for 3 to 4 hours?

Smh…

Here’s an example; Some time ago, I got kinda close to this guy. It wasn’t anything special but there was some potential there. We could talk about almost everything. He used to say that I was fun to be with and how much he enjoyed my company. I probably wouldn’t have gotten ideas if he didn’t used to say shit like that…

Months later, he ended up with some other girl- quiet, sweet, Christian girl who cracked only righteous Christian jokes. A friend asked him about me and his response was, “Abeg o… I can’t handle Ngozi”.

We all laughed about it but it touched me. It was a lesson… an eye-opener. I’m not sure what to do about it though. It’s probably too late for me to change who I am. I mean, I can’t walk around town pretending like I don’t know how to twerk and I don’t watch porn. That would take too much energy… but more and more, it is helping me make up my mind about the kind of man I would like to end up with.

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to work on my end of year blog post. I would like to share a few things I’ve learned this year. Last year, I started late and abandoned it half-way so New Year’s came and went without me saying anything. I don’t want that to happen again this year… especially since my blog will be two years old on the 31^st!!! 😀 I’m really excited about that.

Oh yeah… one last thing, you guys should help me thank God for two of my colleagues who were both attacked by armed robbers, one last week Tuesday and the other over the weekend. The Tuesday guy was stabbed in his arm but he’s doing well. The other guy was shot at close range but for some reason, the gun didn’t fire. He’s in the office now and everybody is making him tell the story over and over again… poor guy.

Have a beautiful week guys. I gotta run. I’ll let you know how the party goes…

:-*