Happy birthday Ngo!

I’ve known since last year that I wanted to do something nice for my birthday this year, but because of how hectic work is, I couldn’t start making any concrete plans till about a week before. Immediately my leave was approved, I was on Google searching for “White sand, turquoise water beaches in Africa” and four days later, I was on Diani Beach in Mombasa, Kenya.

Coming here was a little stressful because of the transit in Ethiopia. Plus I kept getting questioned (by Nigerian & Kenyan immigration) about traveling alone for holiday. Kenyan immigration even held me for a while to question me. 

Officer: Are you meeting samwan heeah?

Me: No.

Officer: So you jast came heeah to celebrate ywa batday ahlone eh?

Me: Yes.

Officer: Should I kam and celebrate with you?

Me: No.

Officer: Shouldn’t you be celebrating with friends and femily?

Me: I don’t understand… Is there a problem with me celebrating my birthday alone??? 

My question upset him and he called one police man and two other immigration officers. They surrounded me, eyeing me up and down. Without taking his gaze off me, he said something to them in Swahili and there was a collective gasp. The policeman asked, “Sister, are you the one questioning him or is he questioning you?”

I’ll admit that at that point, I became afraid.

I remember once seeing a top ten list of the most corrupt police in the world… or maybe it was Africa. I knew that Kenyan police featured on that list, but I couldn’t remember their position. I reigned in my smart mouth and instantly became humble. The whole scene felt like the stuff lifetime movies are made of. It would’ve taken just one of them to plant a small transparent bag of some white powdery stuff in my bag and accuse me of drug smuggling.

No one would investigate whether it was powdered milk or icing sugar in the bag… Nigerian media would just run with the story. I’ll quickly become a hashtag on Twitter. Yoruba people will tweet about not wanting to mention what part of the country this “Pablochukwu Escobar” is from. Igbo people will tweet about it not being the time to tweet divisive tweets because we are one. 

My parents would be exchanging “I-told-you-so’s”.

Father: Look at how you raised her! Upon all the church she has been attending!

Mother: Weren’t you the one who told her she couldn’t be any more useless? OBVIOUSLY SHE ACCEPTED THE CHALLENGE!!

 

Anyway, in the end they let me pass. It helped that a taxi driver was just outside the glass door with a large sign that had my name on it. I pointed to him and told them, ” See! That’s the hotel driver sent to pick me up.”

The drive to the resort was over an hour long, but I didn’t mind at all. At the resort, while I was checking in, one of the receptionists excitedly gave me some sheets of laminated paper. The first one had a picture of a lion on it with the words “Wildlife Safari”. I glanced at it and scoffed.

Nigga point me to the beach… and maybe the massage place with the rose petals. Then take me to the place where the fat guy grills those shark-sized prawns and lobster as thick as my thigh. Yeah… I know the fat guy. I saw him on your website. He was smiling in front of a grill and there were shark prawns on the grill. So take me to him NOW!

Instead, I politely declined the offer.

First of all, I was only going to be here for a few days. I didn’t want to spend my time trying to force feed carrots to a tiger. I came here to rest. Secondly, I’m a Maths whiz. I took one look at the cost of one excursion in Euro, did the conversion to Naira in my head, and then I told myself that I have lions at home in Nigeria.

So… here I am. I start my day in the gym, looking at the different equipment and not really using them. Then I have breakfast. After breakfast, I shower, get ready and set up my beach chair. It’s the perfect spot on the beach… Just under a tree (for shade) and close enough to the bar so that Raphael the bartender can hear me when I call for a refill. Sometimes, I go swimming. Sometimes I just frolic in the ocean. I enjoy taking long walks on the beach in the evening. 

Anyway, happy birthday to me! I’m grateful for life and good health and I’m so soooo grateful for growth. I’ve come a long way from where I was last year. I’m a bit sad this evening because I’m leaving tomorrow. I’ve had such an amazing time and I dread going back to Lagos. I’m just sitting outside my room, thinking about life and how it really doesn’t have to be hard. It’s so cold because of the breeze from the ocean, but I’m not ready to go in just yet. I will milk what I can from this beach before I have to leave tomorrow.

Cheers to me.

 

 

 

ps- Sorry I kinda rushed this post.