One – Nil…

And that’s how we won the Nations Cup…

I couldn’t stop screaming when the whistle blew. Lord knows I wouldn’t have survived another traumatic penalty shoot-out.

Still, I enjoyed the game. Maybe we could’ve played a lot better and not missed so many opportunities, but it doesn’t matter now, does it? We have the cup!!! Anyway, here are my highlights from the game:

1. Early in the game, I felt chills run down my spine when the ball somehow got to our half of the field. The tall guy with peacock hair, who I later found out is called Bance, didn’t hesitate. While our boys were still admiring the sunset, it was like special effects the way he took the ball, spun and sent a powerful shot towards our post, all in a space of a few milli-seconds. The dude didn’t stop to think about it. If it had gone in, that shot would’ve torn the net!! I kept screaming, “Who the hell is that guy??!!! Someone should put a stop to him… or at least break his ankle!!” After that, I was officially afraid.
2. I felt it was kinda eerie how that Pitroipa boy didn’t sweat throughout the entire match. He was strutting around like, Hey look at me… I’m too cool to sweat. My testicles haven’t descended yet and I look like a JAMB candidate, but I’m cooler than you because I’m in AFCON. I was a little scared of him too cos no one ever sees him coming. He’s so skinny and floats around in mid-air, then suddenly, before you know it he just materializes from nowhere and wham! he’s in your face, not far from your goal post…
3. The goal from Sunday Mba was pretty cool, especially because it started out as another clumsy, missed attempt.
4. I almost died of laughter when that Sanu guy slipped and fell in front of the Burkina Faso goal post. If he knew he was going to try and blend into the grass, he should’ve just remained on the bench…
5. I would like to thank the National Association of Burkina Faso Tailors (NABUFAT) for making their shirts so tight… those boys looked so delicious, it made it a bit hard to focus on the game. Most of their players were so cute! And even Bance, who everyone else says is ugly, can put his balls in my net any time. I agree, he’s no Usher Raymond, but we should stop acting like we haven’t seen much worse. Is it because Obasanjo didn’t dye his hair blonde?

I want to make a suggestion to the people who film/air these matches. At the end of the match, there should be two different views. One view should be of the winning team and their celebrations, which will be aired to that country only. The other view, to be aired to the loosing country, will be of their players crying and ripping their jerseys into pieces. This is so that the winners can celebrate with a free conscience. I looked like this yesterday after the match as they were showing the two teams…

*Super Eagles rejoicing*   😀

*Burkinabes sad*      🙁

*Victor Moses smiling*      🙂

*Eagles lifting the cup*     😀

*Bance wiping his eyes*     🙁

*Prejuce taking off his shirt*    😉

I was a confused celebrant… couldn’t make up my mind whether to cry or smile. I felt so sorry for them.

I didn’t get to pop open the bottle of wine because I didn’t have the common sense to buy a wine opener when I got it. A true daughter of my father would’ve found a way around it, but I didn’t have the strength so I had to settle for just holding it in my hand and pumping my fists in the air over the victory…

Anyway, congratulations to the Super Eagles!!! And thank you for making us so proud.

Have a fantastic week people 😀