We are closed for business!!!

Good morning people!!! I’m in a much better mood today…

Not like I was in a bad mood on Monday. I was just lamenting… it took me a few hours to write that post because I had to choose my words very very carefully. I wanted to get my message across and at the same time try not to sound like a materialistic, attention-starved, money hungry welch. And, I didn’t really plan to hurt anyone’s feelings…

Apparently, I did because I got a call from an ex the same day. He was genuinely upset after reading my last post. He said he didn’t appreciate the things I wrote and all that I implied. I told him that nothing was “implied”. It was quite explicit… I even went back to the post to make sure I didn’t mince words anywhere.

I couldn’t understand his pain because it wasn’t like I mentioned any names. Besides, me and him ended eons ago. I don’t even consider him to be an “ex” because of how we ended. It was a messy ending… very Jerry Springer-like where this girl comes to his house while I’m there and I ask, hands on hips, and with all the confidence of a main chick, “Who the hell is this and why is she calling you boo?!” Meanwhile, the girl is mad as hell and spitting fire so he has to take her outside to cool off.

Long story short, it turns out the chick was the main chick after all… and judging from all the accusations she threw at him, I was evidently the chick beside the side chick. In my defense, and so that you guys don’t think I’m completely daft, both main and side chicks lived in different towns, so I really had no way of knowing :'(

The whole time they were outside, I was watching them from inside the house. Initially, my calculations told me that since I was still inside, and she was the one he took outside, she must be the side chick. I was already practicing how I was going to rip him a brand new asshole and two new nostrils when he got back. But, after watching their body language, and listening to her scream about “the five years of my life I have given you”, my side-chickness started to slowly dawn on me…

Anyway, after a loooong while, he somehow managed to tame her and convince her to leave. I think he promised to come and get her later from her sister’s place. By the time he got back to the house, I had left… gone through the back door. Never looked back.

All that drama was such a long time ago! Imagine my irritation at listening to him go on and on and on about how he did the best he could at the time… then he ended by trying to list all the things he ever did for me while we were together. Suffice it to say, the list was shorter than the list of GEJ’s accomplishments…  dude got stuck at number 3!!

Erm… three things in a space of SIX MONTHS??!!

Whatever.

I’m ready for another phone call today… the battle line has been drawn. And all the things I should’ve said on Monday, I will say today.

This isn’t really what I wanted to talk about… I wanted to conclude Monday’s topic. But there really isn’t too much left to say. I can’t even stand and beat my flat chest and boldly say that I will make a change. There’s no guarantee yet that I will treat the next guy differently so I’m just going to be on my own for a while…

You know the saying, Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Well, until I figure out a way to stop giving out free milk, plus suya, plus cowtail pepper soup, plus steak, plus minced beef (for meat pie) and any other food you can get from cows, this bitch is CLOSED FOR BUSINESS!!

Have a splendid day people!! And thank you…