What would Jesus (the business woman) do?

Good morning people!

Today, we’re talking about World Peace…

I have very unrealistic ideas about how we can obtain world peace. Not only are my ideas very unrealistic, they are a little on the foolish side. I know that now.

You see, I grew up watching things like Oprah, the Bold and The Beautiful, As The World Turns, Santa Barbara and later, All My Children. My parents never ever sat me down and said, “Ngo, when you grow up and your boobs get bigger, do not bang another woman’s husband”. No… I learnt my right and wrongs from these soaps and talk shows. Among many other things, they taught me that;

– In the future, whether or not my boobs get bigger, I should never bang another woman’s husband.

– I shouldn’t steal other people’s business ideas and sell them off as mine.

– If I fake my own death and then come back to life 15 years later, I should not be angry if the husband I left behind is now married to my sister.

– I shouldn’t use people to get what I want.

– There’s a possibility that Nne, my big sister, is really my mother ( ._.)

Etc…

And it is these principles I’ve been following, or I have tried to follow, most of my life.

I’ve been through a lot in my time on earth as a human.  The only good thing about my experiences is that they have made me uncommonly sensitive towards the feelings of others. Yes, I also have the ability to not give a f#&k sometimes, but I can find ways around it. And that’s why it hurts me when people completely disregard the feelings of others, family, friends or even strangers, for their own selfish purposes.

Let’s discuss a scenario…

Imagine that Jesus was a woman and he was here on earth in this present day. She (Jesus) is a business woman and she’s got things she needs to sell. So she meets one Mr Dangote-Adenuga, the son of Mr and Mrs Dangote-Adenuga, (Mr and Mrs Dangote-Adenuga is what you get when Adenuga’s son marries Dangote’s daughter). Anyway, Jesus knows that this Mr Dangote-Adenuga has the means to change her life to the 4^th generation… if she does business with him, she will be able to send her great-grandson’s best friend to Harvard.

Sadly, Mr Dangote-Adenuga is a bad man. That’s putting it mildly… he’s a disgusting, sex addicted horn-dog. He cannot transact business with a woman without banging her. His PA, his secretary, his personal trainer, his cook; he has banged them all. If there’s a woman around him, be sure that he has banged her.

So this female Jesus knows he is a dog. In fact, Mr Dangote-Adenuga has made it very clear that if she is serious about doing business with him, she has to bang him first.

So, what would Jesus do?

I know for a fact that Jesus would simply walk away and find business elsewhere. Jesus would know that even if she stands her ground and refuses to bang Mr Dangote-Adenuga, for the sake of business, something will have to give eventually. Even if there’s no actual sex, there will be some ass-grabbing or tit-squeezing or body-pressing for sure. How then would she be able to look Mrs Dangote-Adenuga in the eye during the annual Christmas party?

In my ideal world, there is no selfishness and people consider other people’s feelings. You don’t need to step on anyone’s toes to get to the top. People stand in lines (preferably straight lines) and wait patiently for their turn. You don’t use other people to get what you want, then discard them when you’re done. There’s no backstabbing, no lying, no cheating. My ideal world is like where the Teletubbies live, but with lots of alcohol, free porn and cable Tv.

But these days, people don’t care. If you think like this, about an ideal world, it means you are not “sharp” or “street smart” or “business savy”… in other words, it means hunger never wire you.

I have nothing against being a “sharp guy”. I just don’t like it when it involves hurting someone else’s feelings. If Mr Dangote-Adenuga was single or widowed, then maybe yes… but he isn’t. And for the sake of world peace, the feelings of Mrs Dangote-Adenuga  and their seven kids have to be put into consideration.  If growing up, you were one of the seven children or if your mum was a “Mrs Dangote-Adenuga”, you should be especially sensitive.

I won’t even bother telling you what brought up this rant… but brethren, am I making sense at all?

*smh*